


I Love You as I Love Him

by SteebRogurz



Category: Avengers, MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Oral Sex, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, bucky barnes smut, steve rogers smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27445714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteebRogurz/pseuds/SteebRogurz
Summary: You are in love with Steve Rogers but things change when you confess you feelings for his best friend.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader/Bucky Barnes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!

Your relationship with Steve was perfect. He loved you and in the year that you were together you still found yourself falling more and more in love with him everyday. But you realized that you were starting to develop feelings for someone else and you had no idea what to do about them. **  
**

What’s worse is that those feelings were for Bucky Barnes. His best friend! You didn’t know how or when they started but you would occasionally catch yourself staring at him when he was around. You would blush anytime he smiled at you, and your heart would race if he got close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off of him. There were times when you would even think about him when you touched yourself. At one point things got so bad that you had started to actively avoid being around Bucky altogether. You hated these feelings that you had for him. A rush of guilt swept through your body anytime your imagination got carried away, and you felt as though you were betraying Steve and his love for you. But at the same time your feelings for Bucky felt just as natural and fulfilling as your love for Steve.

You loved Steve so much that losing him would destroy you, but you couldn't deny what you felt for Bucky either. And you knew deep down that Bucky felt the same, which only made things that much harder. You hoped that if you ignored the feelings they would go away but they only intensified as time went on. You felt stuck and didn’t know what to do. or how to move forward without losing the love of your life. You laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, completely consumed by thoughts of Bucky’s lips on yours and how his body would feel pressed against yours, as Steve softly snored beside you. He gave a little snort and rolled over which pulled you out of your thoughts and you suddenly felt as if you were drowning. Your chest tightened with guilt and you bolted upright gasping for breath. as you clutched at your chest trying to calm your breathing before you woke Steve. But it was too late.

“Y/N?” His concerned voice sounded a million miles away but his hand on your back brought you back to your body. “What’s wrong babe?" 

You buried your face in your hands as tears streamed down your cheeks. You didn’t want to hurt him. You never wanted to hurt him but you couldn’t keep lying to him either. It wasn’t fair to him and he deserved to know that his girlfriend had feelings for someone else. So you decided to just bite the bullet and tell him everything. 

"I-” you took a shaky breath. “I think I’m in love with someone else." 

When Steve didn’t say anything you raised your head to try and gauge his thoughts from his expression. Your heart dropped at the look of shock that played across his face and you instantly regretted saying anything. How could you do this to him! He didn’t deserve this heartbreak and you hated yourself for being the one to do it. 

"Who?” He asked quietly, never taking his eyes off of you. “Who is it?” He repeated when you didn’t answer right away. 

“Does it matter?” You hoped to at least spare his friendship with Bucky. There was no point in ruining both of Steve’s closest relationships. 

Steve reached over and laced his fingers with yours. “Yes it does,” he said gently but there was an edge to his tone. 

“Bucky,” you sniffled. “And I tried to push these feelings away, I really did! But I can’t ignore them anymore and I hate lying to you. I don’t want to lose you but I don’t know what to do anymore.” You sobbed and looked away from him fearing an explosion of hurt and anger, but instead he simply chuckled. The tears stopped almost instantly and you looked at him in confusion. Was he really laughing after hearing that the love of his life was in love with someone else? 

“Yeah, that makes sense. Bucky’s great and if you’re going to love anyone else I’d rather it be him.” Steve smiled at you and pressed your hand to his lips. 

“What? I just told you that I love someone else. Aren’t you worried that I might not love you anymore?” You hated asking him that question but you couldn’t help yourself. You needed to know.

He chuckled again and took your other hand in his, “sweetheart, there is nothing in this universe that would ever make me doubt your love for me.” He pulled you in until you were practically sitting on his lap and gingerly kissed the top of your head. “And as for not knowing what to do, why don’t you just tell him? You might feel better after getting it off your chest." 

You pulled back to look at him. "Are you sure?” You asked, fighting a smile that threatened to spread across your face. You had never considered the possibility that you could be happy with both of them. Was that even possible? 

“I’m sure,” Steve smiled and nodded. “Now can we go back to bed? Tony wants to meet in the morning for some special project he’s working on.” He laid back onto the bed pulling you down with him, and you both got comfortable in each other’s arms.

“I’ll always love you,” you whispered to him as he closed his eyes.

“I know,” he mumbled against your cheek, already falling asleep again. 

The next day you woke up to find that Steve had already left and those feelings of guilt and doubt came back. Had you only dreamed about your talk with him last night? You could feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you thought about everything you said but you held them back. However, the pit in your stomach remained as you showered and got ready for the day until you found a note on the counter written to you in Steve’s scrawling handwriting. 

_Tell Bucky how you feel, I have a hunch he feels the same way._

_I love you_

You smiled at the note and placed it back on the counter with your mind made up. Today, with the encouragement from your boyfriend, you were going to confess your love to his best friend. 

Half an hour later you were standing at his front door working up the nerve to ring the doorbell. A million scenarios played out in your head as you stood there. Would he be angry that you would ever think to do something like this while you were still with Steve? Were you wrong in thinking that he loved you back? Would he not feel comfortable being with you if Steve was still in the picture? You were about to give up and leave when you heard someone behind you. 

“Y/N?”

You whipped around to see Bucky standing on the sidewalk with a bag of cat food in one arm and a paper bag full of what looked like fresh produce in the other. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he walked up the front steps to the door. He set the cat food down and fished into his pockets for his keys. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” You said nervously, stepping through the door after him. “But first, you actually do your grocery shopping at 9 in the morning?” You eyed the paper bag with a smirk and Bucky laughed as you walked with him into the kitchen. 

“I like to go to the farmer’s markets, they remind me of when I would go with my sisters back in the day.” He paused, “when we had the money anyway.”

Your smile faded slightly at his words. You often forgot that he grew up in a completely different time than you and that he had a whole life before you were even born. “Sorry I didn’t mean to make fun or anything.”

Bucky laughed again and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, so what’s up? What did you want to talk about at 9 in the morning?” He set the two bags on the island then leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed and winked at you. He was a picture of perfection, haloed by the morning sunlight streaming through the large kitchen windows. It took a second for your brain to kick back into gear and find the words you wanted to say. 

“Please don’t get mad,” you begged and Bucky’s smile faded. He braced his hands against the counter as if preparing himself for an attack. You took a deep breath and looked down at your hands trying to push the words out. 

“Y/N, what is it? Did something happen?” His tone was no longer playful. He was now alert and ready for anything. 

“What? No!” You rounded the island so that you were right in front of him. “No, I’m- I think I’m in love with you.” Your heart raced as you finally said the words. Steve was right you did feel better after saying them out loud but the anticipation and that came after was almost as bad.

“What about Steve?” Bucky asked after a minute of silence. He didn’t sound angry but he was definitely cautious. 

“We’re still together. He’s actually the one who said that I should tell you.”

“And he’s ok with this?” You could see Bucky visibly relax in front of you and you nodded waiting to see what he would do. “Thank god,” he muttered before closing the space and pulled your body against his. His lips were softer than you imagined and the kiss consumed you to the point where you never wanted to stop. It felt as though the dam between you had finally broken and you were able to pour everything you were feeling into each other. 

His fire met your passion with a crashing wave that almost knocked the wind out of you. In one swift motion Bucky lifted you up onto the counter without breaking the kiss. His lips never left yours while hands explored your body and eventually found their way to the button on your jeans. Bucky quickly got your jeans undone before you were hit with an annoying moment of clarity. You realized what he was doing and pulled his hands away putting a stop to everything. Bucky pulled back but didn’t step away from between your thighs. 

Breathing heavily, you both stared at each other as if neither of you could believe this was happening and you smiled at him running your fingers through his hair. You had wanted to do that for so long now, it was softer than you imagined. He sighed and leaned into your touch waiting to follow your lead for what to do next. 

“As much as I’d love to have sex with you in your kitchen, the three of us need to sit down and have a conversation about this first." 

Bucky nodded leaning forward to kiss you again. It wasn’t as all consuming but your stomach still jumped into your throat. This was going to take some getting used to but in that moment you knew that you were going to enjoy your time with both your loves.


	2. Chapter 2

"You and Steve wanna come by around seven? I’ll make dinner." He smiled and took a step back as you jumped down from the counter. You busied yourself with buttoning your pants in order to hide the raging blush that crept up your face.

“Tonight?” You quickly looked up at him in panic. You didn’t think this would happen so soon. Sure, you almost just had sex with your boyfriend’s best friend but you thought you would be able to talk to Steve about it first.

“Did you and Steve already have plans tonight?” Bucky asked.

“No, seven’s fine we’ll be there.” You shook your head and smiled stepping around him to pick up the white cat who decided to grace you with his presence. “Hey Alpine.” You kissed his tiny head as he purred in your arms, and held him until he got too squirmy.

“Alpine likes you.” Bucky remarked as he watched you. He was back in his previous position of leaning against the counter.

“Does he not like many people?”

“Oh no, he likes everyone. But I don’t meet a lot of people who like him.” His smile faded slightly, and you couldn’t help but frown in response.

“Well you’re just not surrounding yourself with the right kind of people then.”

Bucky’s smile returned and your heart skipped a beat at the sight. “That must be it. You wanna stay for breakfast?” He opened the fridge to examine it’s contents. “I can make you an omelette or something.”

“Thanks but I should probably get going if I’m gonna get my errands done before our dinner.” You moved closer to wrap your arms around his middle. “We’ll see you at seven.” You whispered into his broad chest.

His hand never left the small of your back as he walked you to the door and even opened it for you. But before you could walk away he pulled you close one last time, his hand on your waist straying to your ass. “I’m glad you came over.” His lips were on yours once more and you melted into him. You felt as though you were in a dream but it was over too soon and he pulled away. “I’ll see you tonight.”

You spent the afternoon baking some cookies in preparation for Bucky’s dinner and had just pulled them out of the oven when you heard the front door open. Steve walked in looking tired and you frowned, worried that he would be pulled away on an urgent mission. He hung up his jacket and headed straight for you instantly wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his in the side of your neck.

“Hey hon, how was the meeting with Tony?” You asked hesitantly, turning in his arms to return the hug. Steve sighed and raised his head to meet your eye.

“Exhausting, turns out his special project was an iron suit for me and he wanted to get my input on the design. So I had to spend the day talking him down and convincing him that I don’t need or want one.” He wearily walked up to you and pulled you in for a crushing hug. “I’m glad to be home though. How did things go with Bucky?”

Your heart stopped at the name and you stumbled over your words trying not to sound too flustered. “It was- yeah, no. It went okay.” You shrugged, as your face grew warm. “We, um…kissed.” it didn’t feel completely right telling Steve about such an intimate detail you shared with another man. It felt as though you were betraying both Steve and Bucky. What if Steve didn’t want to know exactly what went on between you two, or if Bucky preferred to keep his love life private? But you felt that he had a right to know and this was exactly what you were having this dinner for, to set ground rules and boundaries. “And Bucky’s making dinner for us tonight, so we can talk about things.” You added, hoping he wasn’t too tired to go out again.

Steve just pressed a kiss to the top of your head and nodded. “Yeah, he called me earlier to tell me. Sounds like you had a good day.” You nodded, unable to hide the grin that spread across your face at the memory of Bucky’s lips on yours. “I’m gonna shower and I think you should join me.” He said with a wink and a smile of his own.

You looked up at him, surprised at his suggestion. Steve didn’t often suggest that you do anything like that together, or ever for that matter, and it caught you off guard. This was new behaviour but you didn’t hate it, in fact, you kind of liked the subtle change. You shook your head lightly with the excuse that you’d have to re-do your hair and makeup if you joined him and he pouted giving you the classic puppy-dog-eyes that almost got you every time. Almost.

“Maybe next time. Now go we’re gonna be late.” You giggled, swatting at his arm in order to get him to go, but he just held on tighter.

“I’m gonna hold you to that.” His hand moved up to the side of your face and tilted your head back, strong to kiss you with an intensity you were not prepared for but was willing to accept. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close and with one arm Steve lifted you off the floor for you to wrap your legs around his waist. His tongue lightly probed at your lips and you parted them slightly letting him deepen the kiss. He walked you to the room using his free hand to push the door open and gently deposited you onto the bed before getting to work on taking your pants off.

Weak protests sprang to the forefront of your mind but never passed your lips, and as soon as he had his own pants discarded on the floor they disappeared altogether. Steve advanced on you spreading your legs with his own and settled down on top of you to press a trail of kisses down your neck to your chest. His hands moved up your body underneath the shirt you were still wearing and stopped to lightly swipe a thumb over your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You gasped at the touch arching your back in an attempt to get closer, and Steve chuckled at your reaction. His kisses continued their journey down your stomach until his face was between your thighs and you spread them wider in anticipation for what was about to come next. He paused, taking great care to press a kiss to the inside of each thigh. Steve was a sight to behold as looked up at you with dark eyes from between your thighs. “I thought about you with Bucky all day,” his hot breath danced over your waiting core making you shiver.

"Steve," you whined impatiently at the amount of time he was taking and was about to warn him that if he didn’t hurry up you were going to be late to Bucky’s, but your reprimand died on your lips when his tongue was suddenly on you. You gasped as he swiped up his tongue between your folds to settle on your aching clit. Steve focused on slowly circling your nub with the tip of his tongue and your hands went to his hair, grasping at the soft blonde locks.

“Ooohh, fuck Steve.” You moaned, spreading your legs as wide as you could to allow him better access to your core.

Your breathing grew more ragged the faster his tongue moved against you. A fire had been lit deep within you spread through your trembling body, curling your toes.

“Oh my God, Steve. Don’t stop, ‘m gonna fuckin' cum.” You grasped at the sheets balling them up in your fists as he gripped your thighs with strong calloused hands and worked harder to build the pleasure that threatened to explode inside you. But before you could reach that release Steve suddenly pulled away and stood from the bed wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Wha-?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows to fix Steve with a confused and frustrated look. “What the fuck dude?!” The pleasure that had built up inside you was slowly dissipating and you glared at the shit eating grin he was giving you.

“What?” Steve shrugged in mock innocence still grinning. “I had to get you wet somehow.” He laughed and rushed from the room, before you could find something to throw at him. “And don’t even think about touching yourself while I’m in the shower.” He said poking his head back into the room, and laughed when you flipped him off.

“Take your fucking shower and let’s go, maybe Bucky will be nicer to me!”


End file.
